I slowly started to believe that my husband, Tony, was somehow still with us. I know it’s an irrational thought since he had succumbed to heart failure in Nov, 2015, but I know I am blessed to feel him through the little things that materialize for me every day. Here is one example that I cannot explain or deny.
My son and I were talking on the phone when I began to feel inadequate about how to help him get started in his new sales position working for a San Francisco wine distributor. He had visited four different customers that morning and none were available. My husband had passed almost three months earlier and while we were all managing well, the loss for me was still fresh with deep-seated sadness. I thought about how he and our son had shared such a close relationship. Tony so often guided him, giving good, sound advice. I couldn’t take his place, of course, but that afternoon I didn’t even have to try.
I hung up the phone and shifted my attention to find a medical bill in my files. Tony and I kept different filing systems and I had never come across anything of his in my paperwork. I kept searching for the bill and then saw a handwritten note that I don’t ever remember seeing. I don’t know when Tony wrote it or for whom, but as I read each line, I realized it was what our son needed to hear from his father:
Perfect practice makes perfect. If you start something, then finish. Believe in yourself even when no one else does. The only thing that matters is what you think. People buy from other people because of likeability; knowledge does not become power until it is used. People don’t care how much you know about them, once they realize how much you care about them. Find a way to keep in touch with contacts. Don’t be boring – don’t be predictable on a call. Fantasize yourself in successful situations.
I was flabbergasted.
I took a picture and texted the letter to our son. His response: “I love that. How poignant at exactly this moment. Exactly when I needed it. I knew he’d have good advice for me today.”